Happy Easter and Pregnancy Announcement

Happy Easter from our family to yours! It has definitely been a weird Easter, but the meaning behind Easter is still the same. We put the Easter dress on Isla, watched our church online, and cooked a big old Easter dinner (complete with strawberry shortcake for dessert!). The meaning of the day is not lost in quarantine. Jesus has risen!

And in case you missed it, we announced our pregnancy this weekend too! We are really excited to share we are having a BOY in late August. I am halfway through my pregnancy and really looking forward to meeting our little guy this summer.

I received a TON of questions after I posted our picture. I thought this would be a great place to fill in the details. As many of you know, this last year was the hardest year of our lives. We experienced a surprising, yet exciting pregnancy with a great heartbeat and the promise of a sweet baby due in January 2020. In July, we found out our baby had passed. With the help of medication, I went through a traumatic miscarriage in August. Following that miscarriage, I had constant bleeding that led to a postpartum hemorrhage on October 1st that nearly took my life. I came dangerously close to death and it was a terrifying experience. You can read more about our miscarriage here.

Following that emergency D&C, our doctor asked us to wait a cycle before trying again. So we waited and were pregnant the next cycle! I had started my "fertility diet" back up in October and I 100% know that's why we got pregnant so quickly. All three pregnancies happened because of diet changes... it's really amazing! One night in December, we had my in-laws over for dinner. My sister-in-law and brother-in-law showed up and told us they were pregnant! We were all so excited. As soon as they left, I turned to Michael and said, "Sarah and I are going to be pregnant together. I know I'm pregnant too." It was still a few days too soon to test. A couple days later, I tested and got such a faint line even Michael couldn't see it. I swore it was there. I called the doctor immediately, got a blood draw, and found out I was VERY freshly pregnant (like a home test shouldn't have detected anything at that point). It was really exciting telling our families we were pregnant. 

But soon after the hype died down, anxiety settled in. Michael and I have really struggled through the first trimester. Not only did I have significant physical symptoms, but we also struggled with the mental side of the pregnancy. It was hard to be excited when we kept expecting to miscarry again. Nothing was certain and the unknowing was overwhelming. Michael wouldn't even talk to me about baby things. He wouldn't talk about the pregnancy, name ideas, what the baby would need, etc. It was too hard for him to relive the experience of almost losing me. We were so excited for a new little life, but way too worried to be outwardly excited. So we decided to keep our pregnancy a secret for as long as we needed to get to a more comfortable week of pregnancy. I've never experienced pregnancy after miscarriage, but it definitely changes the way you feel. Every little twinge and pain was a panic for me. On the flipside, the lack of symptoms or not feeling the baby yet made me feel as if the baby had died. Surely at any moment I would start bleeding out again. It was a very emotional and hard first trimester. 

Physically, it was difficult too. I was EXTREMELY exhausted. I napped twice a day when Isla did and would anxiously wait for Michael to get home from work so I could take another nap or lay down while he watched her all evening. Bedtime was the same as Isla's bedtime. I was so, so tired. I also developed hand-foot-mouth after Isla had it. Honestly, one of the worst sicknesses I've ever experienced. I spiked a really high fever, which can cause miscarriage or birth defects. So that was another anxiety-filled experience. Then I had a 24 hour stomach bug, shortly followed by a bad cold. Because of all the sickness, my immunity was shot and I ended up getting shingles. Yes, shingles. I've never heard of a 29 year old getting shingles, but I did. It was so painful and again concerning for baby. 

But we made it out of the first trimester. We had multiple ultrasounds to confirm baby's growth and passed the date when baby #2 had passed... all big milestones. We met with my OB multiple times and formed a birth plan. I'm considered high risk now and my amazing doctor is taking every precautionary step necessary. The blood, IV's, and medications will be present at birth in case I need another transfusion. I have medication immediately following the birth to prevent hemorrhage. I'll have extra help in the delivery room and extra postpartum care. We are very confident with our plan moving forward, although still very nervous and anxious. I have also met with a Maternal Fetal Medicine doctor who did an extensive ultrasound on baby and me (see pictures below). Baby looks amazing (even through all the sicknesses I endured) and my uterus, placenta, cord, and cervix look perfect. I am going to meet with a hematologist sometime soon to discuss my excessive bleeding issues. The MFM doctor and my OB both believe I have a clotting disorder. There is some genetic issue I have when a baby leaves my body. There is no signal to my body to stop bleeding. Without the help of medication, it ends in a hemorrhage. There are hundreds of clotting disorders, so we are hoping to pinpoint the exact one in the future. But we can't do a full panel until I am no longer pregnant (although Von Willebrand's Disease seems very likely). We are very hopeful. 

Now that we are finally halfway (20 weeks, 3 days), we are extra excited. We loved sharing our news with everyone. The outpouring of love and congrats meant so much, especially from those that know where we've been and how hard this has been. We are VERY shocked baby is a boy. Michael and I have been referring to baby as a girl and just expected a girl. When the ultrasound tech put the wand on my belly, we couldn't even see anything, but she immediately pulled it off and said, "do you want to know what baby is?" Yes we did! She said, "well it's goods are out for us to see already. It's a boy!" We could not believe it. Sarah (Michael's sister) is having a boy two weeks before us. The two trouble makers aren't going to stand a chance under Boss Isla. We are very, very excited.

The world is a scary place right now. Our prayer is that things will calm down by August. I need Michael in the delivery room and can't imagine him not being there. As of right now, our hospitals still allow one support person at the birth. We are continuing to pray for a healthy rest of the pregnancy, a healthy and efficient birth, and wisdom for everyone involved both at the birth and postpartum. I will continue to update as we go along. Right now, we are anxiously awaiting Bubba (as Isla now calls him). This sweet girl, keeps kissing my belly while saying "baby" or "Bubba". She will be a fantastic big sister!

Love to all!