End of the Pregnancy

We are getting SO CLOSE to meeting baby. I remember this feeling with Isla... the feeling that the end of my pregnancy is an eternity. But before we know it, he'll be here and we are so excited!

I feel like I have suppressed my feelings of anxiety related to the birth. Mostly because I don't have time to dwell on the details and because my OB is really on top of it. But as we get closer, my anxiety is starting to heighten. The last time my body had a baby, it ended in a hemorrhage that nearly took my life. Even though we've met with a hematologist and MFM doctor, we still don't know what exactly happens to me postpartum. Hopefully I can get a full blood work up following pregnancy so we can know for the next time.

The plan right now is to have blood on hand in case we need a transfusion (which can happen right there in the room, with the baby still in my arms if needed!), two IV's for this reason, and a concoction of medications following the birth. One of the medications will be Methergine, which is used to force my uterus to clamp itself down because my body doesn't signal to my uterus that it's time to contract and stop bleeding. I'm also going to be on medications to slow the bleeding down for a week following the birth. With Isla, I bled for 12 weeks and ultimately had to have a D&C because my body wouldn't stop. Another procedure that might happen is called a uterine exploration and sponge curettage. This is a highly painful tool-less D&C essentially. The doctor will use a sponge to sweep my uterus, ensuring all of the placenta was delivered, since I had retained placenta following my miscarriage. But we have decided this will only be done if absolutely necessary. So my birth has a lot of details that are worrying me.

On top of that, because of my gestational diabetes, I am most likely going to be induced sometime during my 39th week. This is because the risk of stillbirth increases the closer you get to 40 weeks with GD. The other fear is that baby will grow too big. I am terrified of induction, though, for a few reasons. I know that it can negatively affect breastfeeding, which is something I plan on doing. It also just sounds so unnatural to me to force a baby out when they aren't ready. Lung development is at it's greatest in the last few weeks of pregnancy, so I don't like the idea of forcing my baby out when his lungs aren't ready. This also increases your risk of interventions for baby because of this (needing oxygen, jaundice, potential for c-section, baby distress, etc.). I don't like the idea, but the risk of stillbirth is greater than complications that have easy fixes. I'm just disappointed the birth won't be going exactly how I want. Even though waiting is difficult, I liked letting Isla choose her showtime (41 weeks exactly!).

I'm doing my best to remain positive and my doctor has been so good about talking over every single detail with me. I'm praying for a smooth delivery, healthy baby, and wisdom during postpartum. Right now, baby looks great. I get to see him on the sono every week. He always passes his movement tests and has great fluid. He's currently right on track for weight at 6 lb, 8oz.

This is Bubba staring right at the camera!

Physically, this pregnancy has worn me out. I do my best to follow a "modified bed rest" since we had a preterm labor scare a few weeks ago, but with a toddler running around bed rest isn't really an option. Fortunately, Michael is still working from home so he can come upstairs and help if I absolutely need it. Everything hurts and my body has reached it's max. I feel like pregnancy was designed to be miserable at the end so that when the baby comes, it doesn't matter that they poop on you and give you sleeplessness. It's just nice to not be pregnant anymore! haha

Isla is beyond excited! We try to talk to her often about her brother. We talk about what we will do with him, some of the ways she can help, what a baby sounds like, where he will sleep, and more. I know she'll have a transition time, but I hope she welcomes him with open arms! And if not, that's ok too. She's our whole world and I imagine it will be a little overwhelming.

Most days, doing one chore is about enough to knock me out. I'm very glad Isla consistently naps. I use that time to put my feet up and hydrate. In between all of that, I've tried to keep our days fun and consistent. Here are some fun things Isla has been up to:

Girlfriend is so creative! She always wants to paint or color.

Sometimes when Daddy gets off work, he takes her to the neighborhood park so I can put my feet up. She loves this special time with him.

We took one last hoorah adventure with our friends. We went to the zoo where there was a surprising amount of rules in place for social distancing. Afterwards, we had lunch at the park. We will miss our friends, but since we are about 2 weeks out from meeting baby, we decided we need to strictly quarantine. It will probably be awhile before we see our friends again :( (I left out pictures of our friend's faces for privacy reasons)

The zoo has a water park that I was not planning on us using. Isla wanted to run in the water so badly. I turned around to find her sprinting into the sprinklers, with no fear, clothes and all. She even held her little friend's hand and helped her go in too. She's so brave!