Social Media and Life Updates

Personal life update: Back in early fall, I had watched a video that someone had posted on their instagram about a social injustice. That video has stayed with me and I can't get the thoughts out of my head. Throughout the fall and Christmas time I kept dancing around the idea of getting rid of social media because there was just so much negativity. And so many things I didn't care to see or hear about (especially about the election), but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want to feel disconnected from everything else. Then in January more injustices happened (to be honest, they are always happening, but these were some extra publicized ones) and I was more upset about social media than ever. So I decided to take a break for the month of February. I figured it's a short month, so surely I could handle that. 

At first, I was appalled and shocked at just how much time I had spent on instagram and facebook. I noticed every time I sat down to nurse or had a second to myself I was opening those apps to see the latest. I mostly noticed how much time I spent on it at night after the kids went down. Just mindlessly scrolling. So many swipes and quick reads and then I would look up to find an entire hour or two had gone by while I had been sitting there. 

The second thing that struck me was how free I felt. I wasn't annoyed with that one person's post or someone's article share. I didn't feel like I needed that Amazon find that an influencer mentioned or the product from a facebook ad. Did you know social media is a leading cause of depression and anxiety in teens and adolescents? Healthline had this to say: "Studies have linked the use of social media to depression, anxiety, poorer sleep quality, lower self-esteem, inattention, and hyperactivity". I believe it. Because the feeling of freedom was good. It literally felt like a weight had been lifted. 

The third observation or feeling I had was the feeling of missing out. Apparently, FOMO is one of the biggest reasons people use social media as much as they do. I definitely felt disconnected and out of touch. At one point, Michael and his mom were talking about something someone had posted and I literally had no idea what they were talking about. He would also say things like "did you see what so-and-so posted?" because he had forgotten I was off social media. But it showed me just how much we used social media as talking points and communication within our own home. 

And the fourth observation was just how bored I was without social media. Sitting in a doctor's office or waiting in the drive-thru suddenly became very boring with no instagram to scroll. I didn't know what to do with myself on multiple occasions. This eventually led me to finding things to do. I picked reading back up and made it through 2 books in February. I started yoga back up and already feel better than the month before. Our house seems slightly cleaner, menu planning got done a lot sooner, and going outside was an even bigger priority. 

I hate to admit all of that. And I didn't feel like I even spent that much time on it compared to some. It really is a very addictive thing, whether we admit it or not. I gave myself the gift of time and realized when I'm 80 and looking back, I would much rather have those spare minutes here and there with my children, a clean house, and good books than investing time into the people's lives on social media that I sometimes don't even know. 

And then I broke my fast on March 1st. I hopped back on and noticed two things right away.

1. I really had been disconnected. Social media is the way we share news now. I had missed a baby's birth, someone's death, someone's new dog, someone who had moved, a job change for someone else, and I'm sure much more (since I'm not completely caught up still). I missed pictures of my nephew, people's birthdays, family pictures, and more. 

2. I immediately was frustrated. I saw someone post about human trafficking, someone essentially claiming how great of a mom she is, someone expressing their political opinion, and someone sharing a video that made me cry all within the first hour. I also looked up and realized naptime was almost over and I had been on social media the whole time. How frustrating!

So I'm not quite sure where to go from here. On the one hand, I love knowing the fun things about people in my life. I like following the accounts I find informative (mostly about homeschooling, homesteading, natural living, and child development). And I love sharing snippets of our life. I had quite a few messages from people asking where I was and asking about the kids. I don't want to miss out on people's lives. But on the other hand, I can't stand the way I feel after I leave instagram. So many comparisons, products in my face, topics I hate, and negativity. I don't want to be naive and sheltered from what's going on in the world, but I know myself and I know I'm a pretty sensitive person. Sometimes it's too much for my heart. 

I have deleted my apps, but not my accounts. So I can still access them in a long, roundabout way that really has to be intentional. That way if I want to get on social media, I have to really want to. It's not just a quick app open and swipe. I'm also putting my phone down while my kids are awake. I want that time to be for being the best mom I can be. And if I'm scrolling facebook while Isla is eating her snack, I'm missing out on a potential great conversation with her. Or if I'm swiping stories on instagram while Ewan is playing, I'm missing quality eye contact and growth with him. Besides, I don't want my kids to see their parents with their phones constantly in their face. We will eventually have to deal with our children wanting their own social media accounts and I think it's only fair to model our expectations now. I think I will be more strict about what I allow on my feeds too. If someone posts something that bothers me, I'm snoozing them. If someone posts something that makes me sad or sick to my stomach, I'm unfollowing them. Life is too short to feel like that from a stupid device. But I still do want to share our life because I know people that care about our family and want to see what we are up to, as well. And I love doing my blog for that matter. I can't see who reads my blog, but I can see the number of views. I have such a small little following (mostly family members of Michael and myself) that I feel comfortable enough sharing our lives through that. After all, that is the intent of social media, right? To share the updates of our life? 

What I do know is that I feel a little lighter and a little healthier for at least limiting myself. I need to chase that feeling. I encourage you to give it a try. You might just get the gift of time too :)

And on to happier things, here is our latest life updates:

We recently met Isla's best little bud and her family at our favorite spot, the nature preserve. We had a fun time with them. Isla was so excited that she has a daddy and her little friend A has a daddy too :) Normally, it's just the mommies that get to have the fun with the girls.

We have been going outside A LOT with all this nice weather. I know we are in "fool's spring" and I'm sure we'll have more snow before it's finally spring; but, we can hope that this is here to stay. We have spent more hours outside so far in March than we did for all of February. We even reached our first 100 hours outside (although, that sounds like an accomplishment, but we are like 200 some hours behind where we should be if we are staying on track for 1,000 hours this year. oh well).

Isla grabbed her baby bonnet and sunglasses, ran out the door, and screamed "I'm ready for outside!!"

Isla asked for a water bin while I was cooking dinner one night. I looked out the window to see she had carried the bin across the deck, plopped it down, and was sitting in the water fully clothed. She said she was ready to go swimming :)

Isla NEVER sleeps anywhere except her bed, but Ewan likes to wake her up at 5:00 sometimes so she's really tired lately. She fell asleep on the way to Sugar Grove one day and I had the rare opportunity to see my sleeping baby who is not such a baby anymore.

Isla keeps herself busy with lots of art work. She's very creative.

Mimi came to visit to help with the kids while I had a small procedure. Of course, I forgot to get any good pictures. I did get one of her birthday presents that Isla was excited to share with her (she painted the wrapping paper) and one of them at the zoo together.

Other than that, we are getting really excited about warmer weather and all the fun things we can do outside! Isla is excited that it is "Easter time" and we often play "find all the eggs" multiple times a day. Whatever keeps her busy, I guess :)